10 Ways You Know You Have Reached Middle-Age

1. It’s your birthday and you have to do the math to remind yourself how old you’re turning.

2. You are having dinner out for your birthday at a restaurant chosen for two reasons: they have a kid-friendly menu and you have a coupon.

3. You take a little trip to the beach on the way to dinner and get all excited when the star of one of your favorite TV shows jogs by... and then realize it went off the air 21 years ago.

4. You already know what you are going to order before you get to the restaurant and it has the word “Yankee” in the name and involves red meat.

5. You realize halfway to the restaurant that you left the coupon at home.

6. The waiter looks very, very young. You want to order wine but feel you would have to check his I.D. first.

7. Your daughter gives you a birthday card with a heartfelt paragraph detailing her love and admiration for you, but rather than feeling warm and fuzzy, you’re miffed because she wrote so small you have to don your reading glasses.

8. During dinner you find yourself reminiscing about how stylin’ you all used to be wearing your neon-colored crazy-patterned baggy pants.

9. When you count up your birthday cash you have to first resist the temptation to pay a bill with it and then look up your wishlist on Amazon.com so that you can remember what it was you wanted to buy with it.

10. You finish off the evening with a nice warm cup of non-caffeinated beverage and consider personally answering every single birthday wish on your Facebook wall, but then realize that would mean you’d have to stay up past 10 p.m.